Her Guardian
by Bella Winter Rose
Summary: I'm sure this has been done before, but not they way I wrote it. This is Zack's thoughts about Max after he has been in Heaven for several years. Takes place before "Shadows of An Angel", another Charlotte W. Ross original. No need to read that first befo


Authors' Note: For those of you who don't know me, I'm the author of "Shadows of an Angel". The following story should be considered a prequel to that, but you don't have to read it before viewing this. If you _have_ read "Shadows of an Angel", good for you—I'm sure you'll enjoy this short little fic, then.

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Out through my cloud of a window, I watch her. She doesn't see me but I see her through Heaven's eyes. I touch her, I kiss her eyelids while she's in a deep sleep so she will have sweet dreams. All the time I am wondering what kind of bliss it would be if she were mine. She could have been, oh yes, we were so close. But she had feelings for someone else. A serendipity it was that she was my sister.

Oh Max if only I were alive again. Two hearts entwined would make our lives our own private Eden. We would make love underneath a waterfall filled from the rivers of Heaven. All that is impossible now.

I lie up here and think about Max constantly. She is only alive because of me. My heart beats within her, underneath her breasts; I live there. They were not going to let me up here because of it.

"You committed the sin of suicide," they said. "You belong elsewhere."

"I died for another," I told them. "Is there no leeway for martyr-ism?" 

"One would hardly call you a martyr, but lo, you did make a sacrifice. Deep down you are a good person."

Now I am up here eternally. I am Max's guardian angel. 

I am looking down now. I see her in Logan Cale's embrace. He kisses her hands and whispers in her ear. What he whispers, I cannot tell.I tire of the sight of them together. They are almost never separated. Two people couldn't be more close. I loathe that Logan Cale. He has done no wrong but he is a thief in my eyes. He stole the heart of the one I love therefore taking her away from me. Look where I am because of him. 

Max is pregnant now. How different she looks—disproportionate. Her slim body is now burdened with the bulge of the growing child. She carries Logan's baby. They have been married for six years and I have watched Max suffer through miscarriage after miscarriage. Finally she is two weeks short of delivery. I pray to God that she does not loose this baby or it will kill her. I know this child already. I sent the child from Heaven to her. One has such powers living up here. The child is a part of me as well as Logan and Max. I come down at night while she sleeps and put my hands on her large stomach, feeling the heartbeat and its kicks.

I come down to her when she is alone and put my head on her shoulder. She looks out the window and watches one of the many frequent rainfalls that happen in Seattle. Her tears reflect the rain. I wipe her tears with my kisses but she cannot feel my presence. I can read her mind when I touch her hair: she is thinking about me. 

_Zack_, she says. _I miss you. I loved you like any sister would love a brother all though I knew you felt more than that. If only I could see you again it would make everything much easier on myself, to know that you died for me without remorse. Did it hurt when the bullet buried itself in your brain? Did you go quick or slow? For ten years I have wondered…I wish you'd come to Earth and answer me._

Of course Max has no idea that I wish the same exact thing. 

"I'm with you every day, Maxie. You just don't know it," I whisper to her while she is asleep. That is the only time she can hear me.

"Come back to me," she murmurs her response, burring her face in the goose down pillow. 

"I'm always here and always will be. We will be together again, Maxie," I promised. I kissed her cheek and put my ear to her stomach. I could hear the heartbeat of the baby and Max's heartbeat at the same time. It was wonderful. 

"I miss you, Zack," sighs my sister. 

"Don't worry," I stroked her hair. "I'm your guardian angel."


End file.
